USA -- The U.S. Department of Agriculture admitted spending $20 million to research the impact of farm odors on Global Warming.  The money was urgently needed according to scientists before farm odors destroyed humanity.  The reason for the high cost was for private jet transportation for scientists who flew around the world sniffing farms and writing notes about the smells.  The study has been so successful thus far that the agency is planning to spend $10 million to have scientists study Michael Moore's odors and their impact on Global Warming.

       "This is serious business," said Dr. Olaf Olfactorsen.  "You might drive by a farm and think, 'boy that smells.'  But little do you realize that this smell is killing you by causing Global Warming.  Cow manure probably increases global temperature by more than 10-degrees Celsius.  This stuff is potent.  And by flying around and smelling these farms, I can tell which ones are the most potent.  The cows on those farms found to be most potent will be given large diapers. 

        ''Our next project is to do the same study on Michael Moore.  His odor may also be causing significant Global Warming.  If we can prove that, and if it is possible to manufacture a large enough diaper, we might save millions from dying in a Global Warming meltdown by minimizing Moore's odor and Global Warming impact."