Mary went to her first show at an art gallery and was looking at the paintings. One was a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting was a murky gray color that had drips of purple paint streaked across it.
Mary walked over to the artist and said, "I don't understand your paintings."
"I paint what I feel inside me," explained the artist.
She said: "Have you ever tried Alka-Seltzer?"
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Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his rented van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:
"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
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Roses are red, violets are blue.
That's what they say, but it just isn't true!
Roses are red and apples are too,
But violets are violet...violets aren't blue!
An orange is orange, but Greenland's not green.
A pinky's not pink, so what does it mean?
To call something blue when it's not, we defile it.
But ah, why not...it's hard to rhyme violet!
