We are all familiar with environmentalists, but their influence is in danger of being surpassed by the “entitlementalists,” the new breed of Americans who have made taking what their country can ill afford to offer and offering not half as much in return.  I may need a mentalist to sort this all out.

        Ironically the most blatant examples of “entitlementalists” are our expensive elected officials.  They take from lobbyists.  They take from environmentalists.  They take from constituents.  They take from taxpayers.  They take from bankers.  They take from foreign sources.  They take from ANWR.  Scratch that.  They refuse to take from ANWR.  That would be doing something for their country!

        Let us take an excursion into the lobbyist vault from which many politicians get quite a bit of their spending money.  Naïve as I was when I came to this country more than two decades ago, I did not even know that lobbyists existed.  I had been accustomed to a system where politicians were rumored to provide incentives to voters in the form of adult beverages.  The slogan appeared to be: No beer left behind!  However, no one paid the politicians to vote for a piece of legislation.  The situation here, however, appears to be: “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.”

        It must take an awful lot of Benjamin Franklins, William McKinleys, Grover Clevelands, James Madisons, and Salmon P. Chases to scratch the back of a politician!  Then again, when the “deal” er, legislation, in question costs in the billions, what’s a few million in $100, $500, $1000, $5000, and $10000 bills and notes?  My back is positively itching to be scratched and I would come much more cheaply. Damn, I was not thinking outside of the box--or lobbyist shoebox of large bills--in choosing a career!

        It appears that some lawmakers need a lot of monetary persuasion to do their job of legislating.  The amounts range from nearly three billion a year to under one billion, in a slow year.  Some “wet behind the ears” freshman legislator could be thinking how to get his or her hands on some of that dough.  I humbly offer my unsolicited and unpaid for advice.  Don’t put your hand in that “till of undue influence.”  To borrow from Mrs. Nancy Reagan’s slogan about saying “No,” to drugs: Newbie Legislator, just say “no to the dough.”  The return on the investment of your soul is not worth it.

        Our political “entitlementalists” are triple dippers.  While one hand is being held out to gather up the “incentives” from the lobbyists, another hand is hitting up constituents for “donations.”  The standard message appears to be: Send me a couple hundred dollars and I will work hard to get you that bridge to nowhere.  Poor constituent--a babe in the woods in fervently believing that his contributions, conveniently placed on a credit card, will ensure that Legislator Entitlementalist will secure legislation beneficial to him and his fellow slugs.

        Constituents then have the gall to complain when Legislator E does not perform.  Have they never heard of the politician’s credo that “promises are made to be broken”?  Some legislators are so effective in raking in donations that they even lend themselves campaign money to run for reelection, or for another office, while the furniture is still being placed in the office for which they just got elected!  To the tune of “Shake Your Booty,” they sing: “(We will) take, take, take your booty (loot)!”  Should we take pride in knowing that we are represented by the most expensive legislators money can buy?  It certainly makes a good networking icebreaker: “I paid more for my legislator.”  “No, you didn’t!”  “Did too!”

        Entitlement mania does not end with our elected officials.  Some citizens have decided that this “what you can do for your country” thing is not for them.  Even some immigrants, both those who came in the front door and those who slipped in the back, know that they have entered the “land of the free and home of the goodies.”  The majority of legal immigrants appear to want to come here to work and make better lives for themselves.  They want to do what they can for their new country.  They soon find out that, like the rest of the non-entitlementalists, they end up “facilitating” the free stuff to those who come solely to take.

        Some of those in the taker class know “the system” better than most.  They know which government programs can be manipulated to their advantage.  They have never heard of President Kennedy, never mind his “Ask not what your country can do for you,” speech.  They know that in the United States, there is a very efficient system in place to take from some to give to others, and it is all very legal.  It is called taxation.

        I mentioned earlier about the triple dipping by our expensive legislators.  In addition to lobbyist and constituent “contributions,” a third hand is willingly extended to the international community.  Yes, in politics, it is possible to have three hands, as well as multiple positions on the same issue.  After all, politics is “the art of the possible.”  In the 1996 presidential and congressional races, some politicians, notably Bill Clinton, found themselves up a (Charlie) Trie.  He almost gave them a Charley Horse, along with the reputed tons of cash! Luckily for them, Mr. Trie was felled by the U.S. law that forbids U.S. politicians from accepting donations from non-U.S. citizens and non-permanent residents.  Mr. Trie was convicted.  He did not lose all.  He does have that nice picture of himself posing with President Clinton, to use as his own ice-breaker at future cocktail parties, hopefully where no “donations” to influence U.S. politics, will be solicited.

        President Ronald Reagan once asked: “Since when do we in America believe that our society is made up of two diametrically opposed classes--one rich, one poor--both in a permanent state of conflict and neither able to get ahead except at the expense of the other?”  No question needs to be asked when it comes to the “diametrically opposed classes” of the “entitlementalists” and the “ask what I can do for my country” citizenry.

        Many patriots do not even bother to ask what they can do for their country.  They just do what they can.